My Life As A Single Mom

I was 29 years old when I found myself divorced and raising my then 3-year old son.  My ex-husband was not around and I was on my own for the first time in my life.  Having gone straight from my parent's home to being married, the only work experience I had was working in church offices.  Wonderful and satisfying work, but a little low on the pay scale.  In an effort to help, my church hired me, working around the hours I needed in order to take care of my son.

I tried my best not to depend on others for our daily needs.  I hated it that my parents had to help out with my rent, and even then, I still had to scrounge the car floor for change in order to buy a gallon of milk.  My basic diet was cereal and ramen noodles.  I remember once a friend felt "led" to take me grocery shopping.  She told me to fill my cart with whatever I wanted.  It was so humbling.  I didn't want to take advantage of her kindness, but I also knew that we needed meat and produce very badly. 

Another thing prominent in my memory was the time my gas had been shut off.  I lived in a little trailer at the time, and my heat, water heater and stove were all gas.  It was no problem about the heat, because it was summer.  But I still recall the days that I had to take cold showers, or warm up huge bowls of water in the microwave to add to my son's bath water.  One day, a friend came over around dinner time and saw that I was having difficulty lighting my charcoal grill.  (I didn't have any more matches.)  He said to me, "Why don't you just go inside and light something on fire at the stove?"  Well...my secret was out.  And...of course the problem was quickly and quietly solved.

My parents and my church family were wonderfully used by the Lord during that time and come to think of it any other time in my life.  I felt so ashamed.  Ashamed to be a Christian who was getting a divorce.  Ashamed to be a 29 year old woman not able to take care of herself.  Ashamed that my life seemed to be taking such an unexpected turn.  After all, where was my faith??  Little did I know that other people looking at my life admiring my faith. Maybe not the people who didn't know me well, and gossiped behind my back, but everyone whom I truly respected and loved, they were all rooting for me with words and actions.

So, if you find yourself in this difficult situation, I know how it feels.  But I also know that God is faithful.  He will take care of you in ways you never expected.

For those of you who don't find yourself abandoned by the one you loved, maybe this blog will help you to be a little more compassionate.  Single moms need all the help they can get; financially, spiritually and sometimes they just need a friend to talk to.  I challenge you to find a single mom and her children to "adopt."  Slip them a little something extra at Christmas.  Give them a gas card.  Babysit for free for them.  If you live in the Southern Chicago suburbs, consider giving to our non-perishable single mom pantry.  With finances being as difficult as they are you may want to just donate your coupons.  You have no idea how desperate and alone a single mother can feel, and you have no idea how much even the simplest of gifts can mean...